Mother's not feeling well.

Several years into my bond with mother, she became ill. I remember her mentioning valley fever and how it was affecting her lungs, but I didn't know much about it. I had moved from the valley as a teenager so my exposure was different than hers and others. She started to become weak and breathing was now a chore. She could no longer work and this hit her hard. Mother's past precluded her from working a professional job, so she made a career in customer service. She loved it and looked forward to seeing her customers. And now, that was fading.

I called a meeting with my siblings to come up with a plan. We needed to supplement her income and purchase life insurance and we needed to start this immediately. Before the call, I did research on the cost of the policy and calculated the amount of money she would need for rent, power, water, and food. I was prepared and believed my siblings would support it. After all, there were seven of us, so the amount per person would be nominal.

When we got on the family call I presented the facts as though it were work. I let them know that single families would only have to contribute $25 per month, and married siblings would put in $50. This would build overtime to pay the life insurance policy and supplement her income. I awaited their responses. I became numb, several said no without explanation, and one said no because he cosigned something for her that she was unable to pay and it hit his credit. He now had to sell his motorcycle to pay it off for him to be approved for a home loan. He was angry that we didn't help him pay a debt that we knew nothing about. Others said their income wasn't high enough for them to commit.

In the end, none of them agreed to help and none of them did. Mother's health started to deteriorate and her liver was failing due to the medication they gave her to help her lungs. She would have to stop working and her social security application was initially denied. Alone, I would have to start paying her rent, water, and power while my siblings chatted about how they still would not help. I validated my siblings in their pain having suffered child neglect, however, I did not stand by their decision to continue to allow her to suffer.