The pain of witnessing the place where my mother passed away was unbearable. I longed for her presence, wanting to hear her voice and laughter once more. Instead, I found myself surrounded by family members who had neglected her during her time of need, displaying manipulative behavior.
Despite their prior indifference, these family members now sought to take control, arranging a meeting to discuss funeral and burial expenses. We agreed that I, along with two brothers, an aunt, and an uncle, would evenly split the costs. However, what seemed like a straightforward arrangement quickly became mired in complications.
My mother's own mother attempted to hijack the proceedings, insisting that the services be held at her church for her own self-serving reasons. This was a painful reminder of her emotionally manipulative nature, and her previous actions, such as abandonment and withholding information about my mother's biological father.
Adding to the turmoil, my youngest brother contacted me the night before our planned gathering, unaware of the traumatic history involved. When I expressed my discomfort at being in close proximity to the man who raped me and my sister, he was taken aback.
However, his attempts to address the issue were met with denial and gaslighting from our uncle. Arriving at my brother's home the next day, I was cautioned by my sister to remain silent about what happened to us, because based on what she'd heard, they were denying it all. Refusing to be silenced, I asserted my right to speak my truth loudly and unapologetically.
I stood firm, knowing that my mother would have been proud of my resilience. In the face of adversity and attempts to suppress my voice, I refuse to be silenced. My mother's memory deserved more than a cover-up of child sexual assault.
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