After moving back into the house, things got worse. He started smelling my underwear when I took showers or when I put my clothes in the hamper. After I finally graduated with my degree, he woke up one morning while I was sleeping and drove from the house, to the daycare, to my new office, back to the daycare and then the house. Because the car was his, he said he clocked the miles at 27, and if I ever went over that in a day he would take my keys away. Which meant, I would lose my job and have to stay home. So, fearfully watched the speedometer daily.
His controlling went to levels I didn’t anticipate. Another friend graduated and asked me to celebrate with her and other friends. Of course I said yes, I was so proud of her. I let him know in advance hoping he would understand how important this was to me. When the day came he told me he was taking the children to his mother’s house so that she could spend time with them. I thought, perfect. At least he wouldn’t be angry about watching the children while I was out. But he had other plans. He put the child locks on the car doors and left the sun roof open. When I got home from work, he lifted me up, shoved me through the sun roof, jumped in the driver’s seat and drove away. While driving he smiled and said, “Now you won’t be going anywhere tonight.” He said I deserved it after choosing to spend time with friends instead of being with the children.
After that night, I starting thinking about my way out of the relationship. I met with my friend and devised a plan to get my own car. One evening, before he got home from work, I packed an overnight bag for me and the children and called a taxi to take us to the BART train station. That night we stayed with my friend and her family. They were so supportive. The next day, her mother watched my children while she and I went to look for a car. I was so proud. It was a green Honda Civic and it was all mine. I would no longer have to rely on him for transportation.
This enraged him. One morning I woke up to his fist punching me in the eye. He was angry because the day before I met my friend for dinner after work. We had met to discuss my next steps. He said his anger was because he loved me so much. I went from feeling trapped to being afraid. The next day I went to work, makeup had not hidden the abuse. My boss looked at me and told me to find my strength. She never brought it up again, but began promoting me to build my confidence. She was teaching me financial independence.
S
Comments