With mother gone, my siblings and I had forgotten the familial covenant that she spoke over us, "You all need to stick together. You are all you got!" I've pretty much been the leader in this discord since I can't wrap my head around how my eldest sister remained friends with the uncle who raped me and made her feel like they were in a relationship. I also can't stomach the rumors that persisted about another uncle propositioning a different grown ass sister of mine for money. I have no first hand knowledge about this, however, the clothes seem to fit the family's dark closet.
A brother of mine casually shares the following story. Before our grandmother past away, she started to suffer from dementia and other issues. Like many people in that state, sometimes they are present and sometimes they are not. One day, my sister went over to her house to discuss with my uncle the possibility of being the her caretaker. At some point during the conversation, according to my brother, our uncle offered my sister money for sex. Now, again, she is not unfamiliar with these inappropriate propositions; heck, she had said yes to men that were close friends of the family. But an uncle?
Well, they allowed themselves to get passed the family barrier and struck a deal to complete the transaction. Apparently, my grandmother was having a "present" moment and heard the noise. She begins to yell out, "What in the hell are ya'll doin in there?" According to my brother, she cussed them out. After that day, she told several people the same exact story, and he believes it. The thought of any part of this story being true is beyond disturbing. It is one thing to be a child and have family predators violate you, but it is another thing to be grown adults continuing to normalize this behavior.
If found to be true, it makes sense why he protected his brother when I told everyone he was raping the girls in the family. This revelation sheds light on the depth of dysfunction and protection of abusers within our family. It's time we confront these dark truths and break the cycle of silence and complicity. We owe it to ourselves and the future generations to create a safer, healthier family environment.
In grappling with these disturbing realities, it becomes clear that the cycle of abuse and silence must be broken. We need to recognize that sticking together as a family does not mean protecting those who cause harm. It means supporting and standing by each other in pursuit of healing and justice. This familial covenant, "You are all you got," should evolve to signify a commitment to protecting and nurturing each other.
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